What is it with guys and chicks anyway? You dangle a chick in front of most guys, and they just drop everything and everyone else. Whether it's called CBF (chicks before friends) or Ho's before bro's, almost everyone is susceptible to it. Even one's truest friends. It's not an understandable phenomenon to me, simply because i think friends should be ranked at an equal level with chicks, or possibly aant even higher one. don't be a fucking dick and drop your friends just because may babae na pumasok sa buhay mo. Tawag kasi doon, is bas-fucking-tos. Jesus H. christ, why is it so fucking difficult for people to pull themselves away from the allure of pussy? And to anyone getting defensive, or offended at this point, tangina offended ka kasi kasali ka sa mga malilibog na loko loko. You can wave the words female companionship in my face all day, but the truth is, if you ditch your friends for a girl, it's in the hopes of working toward a point when you can get some.
I was watching gone in sixty seconds earlier, and as the movie built up toward the part where they go boost the cars, there was a key scene in which the group is in the garage, getting ready. Nicolas Cage whips out a beat up old tape palyer, and depresses the play button.. in comes "WAR" with the song lowrider. They all look ike they're tripping out inside their heads, getting ready, focusing the mechanism, and getting into the zone, and all of a sudden Nicolas Cage looks up from his trance, and points randomly saying "lets roll"
This single movie event has inspired me to come up with a badass movie songs playlist, unfortunately, I need help. Any Ideas friends?
Admittedly, dealing with the mere concept of Adrian Veidt is difficult. Rivaling him is unheard of, and Trumping him is impossible. (perhaps we should call it Veidting someone instead of Trumping) Still, there may be those among us who persist in their delusions of Veidtness. (greatness, Veidtness, get it?) Take the "Veidt and see" test to prove yourself! You know you're Adrian Veidt if you've:
1. Given away your family fortune, which is by no means small, at the age of seventeen.
2. followed the path of Alexander the great from turkey to Babylon
3. Eaten a ball of hashish in the dessert and hallucinated a revelation
4. Become a costumed hero so labeled "the worlds smartest man"
5. Projected an accurate prediction of the future taking into consideration trends in marketing strategy, economic growth and shrinkage, and military movements.
6. Built a veritable corporate empire whose cornerstone is a viable alternate energy source
7. Concocted a scheme involving a teleporting lifeform, exploding minds, and "aliens" to end world conflict and bring a lasting peace to the world.
8. Beaten and subdued Rorschach without breking a sweat
If you've yet to accomplish all, or ANY of the following, then consider yourself less than Veidt, or Veidtless as I like to call it. Don't feel bad, only Veidt can be Veidt. (overuse of the name veidt) Visit again for the next watchmen hour when we test your nerdiness against that of Daniel Dreiberg!
 | dreams | Jul 6, '08 11:34 AM
for everyone |
I couldn't quite hear what was being said because the glare from the varnished coffee table had held my attention for quite a while. The warm room was blurrily reflected on its moisture-ring stained surface, and my fascination with the knots and burrs ingrained in the table strangely enough, grew with each passing moment. I can't quite recall what she looked like either. I can't tell you if she had light or dark hair, or if she even had hair. I don't remember if she was younger or older than I am, or was. I don't even know any of this happened at all, but I do remember she was there. I was there. I remember a small rustic coffee shop in Intramuros shared by two people and a heavily moustached brewer. My hand remembers the feeling of a small and pleasantly warm hand shyly making its way into my own sweaty one. I remember laughing and smiling with but one regret, a secret fear that I dared not allow into my conscious mind at the time. A fear of saying goodbye or goodnight, a fear of leaving that place that I had for so short a time. Was it an hour or a year spent at that dimly lit table, I can't say. Neither would have been enough, and either would have been too much. All I have left now is the memory of tinkling bells and warm strong coffee. Of the waxy sheen of an old tabletop, and a kindly old barista from Intramuros. The memory of a womans hand enclosed in the palm mine, and the sweat that should have bothered her. Now the only real thing that I've got left is the fear. That's never gone away, and my nights have never been the same. I remember waking up.
| palaban | Jun 23, '08 5:46 AM
for everyone |
There's just something about sitting in an obscure and somewhat shady sports bar, watching a soccer match and cheering for one team while every other soccer hooligan in the palce cheers for the other. did I mention non-asian soccer hooligans? It was 230am this morning when I somehow got dragged into watching the Spain vs Italy match in 'Howzat' sports bar. I came along for the game casue I figured, "nothing doing tomorrow, and it's free so it's no skin of my back.. why not?" I walked in with Ayo,Ige, and Bryan in tow, predictable crowd seeing as we'd just come from playing a game of DotA. Inside we saw Gino, Jovie and Gab perched on decidedly uncomfortable bar stool/high chair hybrid seats. We took no time at all in joining them, and I think we must have looked like large birds perched on a very precariously positioned wire. After a bit of light conversation regarding this topic or that, the game began and we were immediately mesmerized by the 44-nich flatscreen samsung TV. The screen showed playeres from both teams, Italy and Spain, walking into the stadium hand in hand with young children, I imagine aspiring socer stars, and form a line midfield. Although it's customary in International games, I was awed by the stony faces of the players, caught in a moment of patriotic zeal as their national anthems were played. To my surprise, at the end of the Italian national anthem the bar was filled with applause and cheers and this was when Jovie brought it to our attention that we were the only ones in the bar cheering for Spain. Mental picture, Medium sized bar filled with Caucasian men, Filipino women, and us. Medium sized bar, filled with whooping fans of italy applauding at the national anthem, raising toasts to Buffon and the rest, talking about Italys rock solid iron grid defense, and us. hooray spain... The game started out with Spain in posession, and continued to be dominated by them in statistics like Posession, shot attempts, and distance run thus far. But not once in the 70 minutes that I watched did a goal go in. Oh for sure there were some close calls that drew out their fair share of gasps and curses, but thanks to the combination of the Italian defense grid, Buffons magic hands, and the Spanish players' 'lets-take-this-shot-from-half-way-across-the-field-even-though-it-has-no-chance-of-going-in' attitude, no cigar. No victor, no closure, but I really enjoyed myself mainly because of the fact that we were fervorously cheering, cursing on cue, standing up and punching our fists in the air, and all for a team that had no other support in the bar. I imagine that the fun came from the fact that if Spain did win, we might have been 'boo-ed' out of the bar and beaten by sleep-deprived caucasians to boot, but we still cheered for our team. Matter of fact, maybe we cheered even harder because of that fact. It might have been fun to have seen Spain win, and rub it in the faces of the majority, but in retrospect, I'm glad that I left when I did, because only God knows what a rampaging sports hooligan is capable of.
I recently found a website that gives people access to some of the works of Rene Descarte, so I began reading, what is perhaps his most famous book, "Discourse on the method of rightly conducting reason and seeking truth in the sciences". It's a good read, but in truth, a little long winded. Not to say that Descarte should have written it any other way, because perhaps if he wrote it in any other words except those he used, the world might not have understood the genius that was Descarte. And while I would love to regale everyone with a brief summary of "the discourse", there is no brief summary that does it justice, so I won't even attempt to paraphrase Descarte. As a matter of fact, any attempt of mine to paraphrase his work with the intention of lecturing would be presumptous and smug. Instead, I'll 'make kwento' one of the methods of getting ones point across that Descarte, to me, seems to have mastered. He opens with his explanation of how he believes that all men are created equally, in the respect that our minds are all of equally good sense. He continues then, to write about how he, Rene Descarte (THE RENE DESCARTE!!!), believes himself to be of mediocre intellect as far as natural ability goes, but justifies this by saying that he has merely had the good fortune of being a diligently academic and scholarly man, who just so happens to fall into the right place at the right time, with the right education and the right friends, so that he now has the right 'track of mind'. He also talks briefly about how he believes, and hopes that he is correct in saying that he has involved himself in among the most important occupations in the world. (I agree) He continues his train of thought by going on to say that (here's the genius. ready?) his book is not written with the intent of lecturing people on the correct way to conduct their reason, because in doing so, he would have subjected himself to heavy criticism and loss of credibility in the event that his philosophy is proven wrong in the future. So what then are we reading this book for? Descarte describes his book as a mere history of what he has found thus far, to be true, and he hopes that although there are many potential errors in his story, there may be a few things he got right. Rene Descarte, thy name is genius! My God, through the use of humility, this man has absolved himself from any and all possible blame in the future! He humbles himself slightly, by bowing his head, but by that simple move, he has increased the credibility and usability of his work and ideas exponentially. shit. talk about clever.. I've found my new Idol.. step aside Kant.. poppas got a brand new BIRD. (HUH?)
you like movies, I like movies, everyone likes fucking movies. (I know I said that you like movies, but) If you like movies, TV, and car-fucking-toons, check out www.surfthechannel.com It is FUCKING awesome.
Some people spend their whole lives searching for their purpose. Some people never find it. Some people are born with the burden of it on their shoulders. Is it a lot to ask to ask for it now? It just feels like I'm waiting for something. Something big, and something meaningful to get my life started. I'm not one for gradual changes, though I've been told that those are the ones that stick, and so I'm looking for my 'ON' switch. It should be red, flat, and circular in orientation, so if anyone see's it, please let me know.
Melchior:
There’s a moment you know…you’re fucked –
Not an inch more room to self-destruct
No more move – oh yeah, the dead-end zone
Man, you just can’t call your soul your own
Otto (Spoken):
But the thing that makes you really jump
Is that the weirdest shit is still to come
You can ask yourself: “Hey, what have I done?”
You’re just a fly – the little guys, they kill for fun
Georg:
Man, you’re fucked if you just freeze up
Can’t do that thing – that keeping still
Hanschen:
But, you’re fucked if you speak your mind
Georg, Hanschen & Otto And you know – uh huh – you will
ALL
Yeah, you’re fucked all right – and all for spite
You can kiss your sorry ass goodbye
Totally fucked – will they mess you up?
Well you know they’re gonna try
MELCHIOR (Spoken)
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
ALL (Spoken)
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
MELCHIOR
Disappear – yeah, well, you wanna try
Wanna bundle up into some big ass lie
Long enough for them to all just quit
Long enough for you to get out of it
ALL
Yeah, you’re fucked all right – and all for spite
You can kiss your sorry ass goodbye
Totally fucked – will they mess you up?
Well you know they’re gonna try
Yeah, you’re fucked all right – and all for spite
You can kiss your sorry ass goodbye
Totally fucked – will they mess you up?
Well you know they’re gonna try
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah
Totally fucked.
I'm making an ipod playlist of songs about regret, and I find myself shocked by the fact that I cannot think of more than a handfull. Care to help me out? If you think of any songs about regret, I'd really love it if you could post it so that I can add it to this list. 1. Switchfoot - this is your life > The best regret song i think. His punctuating cry of "don't close your eyes" really captures how I tend to not look at, or see myself because of the shame that it brings me. Nakakahiya tignan ang sarili ko. that's what it asks, and that's what it says. (to me that is) 2. Stuck in a Moment - U2 > The perfect song for all the layabouts who feel like they never moved into the next stage of life. Admittedly, I am one of them. It's really depressing though, how painfully bono seems to demand that you "get yourself together". A good song, for college dropouts, and remorseful jackasses the world over. 3. Anthem of Our Dying day - dunno 4. sayang - Parokya ni Edgar 5. The Everglow - Mae Can't think of any more eh. If you've got the song, and if you've got the time, you know what to do. thanks.
a name that I can't recall, and a face that comes to memory in bits and peices. The sound of a toy monkeys cymbals touching one another shyly. Big sad beautiful eyes that tell you more than you want to know and nothing at the same time. muffled clapping from a long forgotten dream. A pretty smile that tells you whats simple is complicated. a monotonous chord struck on a piano from far far away. Sometimes you can fall in love with the idea of someone more than anything. Sometimes you can fool yourself more than anyone else can. Sometimes you just have to shut the fuck up.
If you don't know who Rodimus Prime is, then you're either very young, or not into transformers much.. If you don't know who Optimus Prime is, then you can join unicron (who you probably don't know either) and circle cybertron as a satelite for ever. For those of you who do know Optimus and Rodimus.. welcome fellow nerds, to the venue for my geekiness. The time has come to ask the ultimate question.. In a no holds barred battle to the death, who would win? Optimus or Rodimus?
Optimus prime has long been the ultimate symbol for the transformers. Since he was the main focus of the original series, it's no surprise that his character has been developed so well. His trademark of course is that he is heroic to the point of self sacrifice. A veritable definition to the word martyr. All this of course is aside from his significant raw physical strength and power. Optimus prime, despite his pacifism has led the autobots to countless victories over the decepticons.
Rodimus prime is Optimus' succesor. He grew into Rodimus prime from his previous incarnation as hotrod. Though he played the 'unruly rebel' character th the beggining of the transformers movie, through significant events (including the death of Optimus prime due to his foolishness, the events that occured on the quintesson planet, etc.) we saw hotrod grow into a potential leader. At the conclusion of the movie, Hotrod was seen to be giving a speech about restoring cybertron to a new age of peace. The series continued after that with Rodimus as the autobots new leader.
So who would win the fight? let's review the facts as told by significant episodes and movies. (we can make no assumptions here, so all the factors that will be taken into consideration have to be facts proven by events from the cartoon series or the movie.)
Point: Optimus prime was the first fighting autobot created by AlphaTrion. He was designed to combat the threat created by the new decepticon race, and he held the balance for a little over nine million years. He was also the first to defeat Megatron, and has many many years of experience behind him. He would definitely win.
Counterpoint: Though Optimus was the first, it doesn't necessarily say he was the best. After all, can it be said that the first car created by toyota is better than the latest one? As Optimus was the first to defeat megatron, Rodimus was the fist to defeat Galvatron.
~0~
Point: Rodimus Prime in the movie, defeated Galvatron so easily, simply picking him up and throwing him through a wall in Unicron, whereas Optimus had this 5 minute struggle against Megatron, Galvatrons lesser incarnation, and was mortally wounded because of it. Obviously, by looking at the amount of effort it took to defeat the same enemy (and Galvatron was even wstronger than Megatron) we see that Rodimus is possesed of more power than Optimus.
Counterpoint: Rodimus received the power of the Autobot matrix of leadership from Optimus in the movie, so he was therefore using his own strength compounded upon that of Optimus. This instance doesn't count because he wasn't running on his own steam. Furthermore, Galvatron was not necessarily more powerful than Megatron, since all Unicron said was: "I shall give you a NEW body" New, not better. For all we know, Megatron could have been vastly more powerful than Galvatron.
~0~
Point: In the episode 'The Return Of Optimus' (the one with the hate plague) Rodimus gets possesed by the hate plague, and Optimus needs to use the matrix of leadership to restore the galaxy to it's sanity. In the fight between the hat-infused Rodimus and Optimus, Optimus applies a pacifist philosophy at first, until he gets fed up and beats Rodimus with ease. Add to that the fact that Rodimus had the matrix inside of him, and we get a picture that says Optimus bitch slapped Rodimus prime while rodimus prime had the matrix of leadership. It's unnecessary to ask who's stronger now is it?
Counterpoint: The hate plague had possesed Rodimus at that point, so there are many possible explanations for his being beaten. 1) The hate plague made him unable to access the matrix of leadership since hate is an an emotion beyond wisdom, and wisdom was what the matrix contained. Therefore, Rodimus wasn't in a proper state of mind to fight. 2) Optimus strength comes from the fact that he's fighting on the side of righteousness. Perhaps subconciously Rodimus realized that he was on the wrong side, and allowed himself to be beaten.
~0~
Point: In the TRANSFORMERS: HEADMASTERS episode 'the two primes/prime's sacrifice' we see Optimus and Rodimus Prime fightig side by side. (the birth of the dream as the japanese narrator so aptly called it) In the end though, Optimus throws himself into the rift to restore Vector Sigma. Though Rodimus offered to do it, Prime stopepd him saying that Rodimus had an important mission yet to do. The point of the question is, was Optimus afraid or unwilling to do this task? perhaps he wasn't possesed of enough power to do the mission himself?
Counterpoint: In that same episode, we saw Rodimus and Optimus fight Galvatron, but it was Optimus who landed the knockout punch. Besides that, Optimus did it without the power of the Autobot Matrix of Leadership. It was only after the fight that he received any power from the matrix. To adress the point, Optimus probably threw himself into the rift because only he could restore Vector Sigma. Perhaps he sacrificed himself because he knew that in the end when it really mattered, Rodimus didn't have the right stuff.
~0~
The points have been stated and refuted. Now the verdict: let's put it to a vote. comment on who you think would win. Let the battle of the primes begin.
http://www.clarifyingchristianity.com/pets.shtml This webpage 'attemps' to answer the question of whether pets go to heaven or not. Does it succeed in doing so? Fuck no. It begins with a nice intro in its first paragraph, but in the following paragraph we see the main motive of this religious zealot. The question is whether or not pets go to heaven, and the statement and idea that this writer drills into your head is "be good and go to heaven.". Yes, it's a very sweet thought. I ought to say, "Thank you writer for reminding me that i should want to go to heaven, but you have in no way answered the question." While, through various biblical refferences, he is ale to establish that in some aspects man and beast are equal (insert the DUH here) he constantly maintains that there is no refference to the spirit of the animal going to heaven. He then inserts a small sermon labeled 'this topics most popular passage'. False advertising, I assure you. It reads from the book of ecclesiastes, and in fairness, tells about the equality of man and beast. Sadly, out of several lines, only 2 or 3 mention the animal topic, so why cite it as a significant resource? At the end of the mini sermon, he says something to the gist of 'so turn away from material/physical possesions so that you can go to heaven and find true meaning with God.' He then goes back to the normal web-layout and his conclusion. In a nutshell, his conclusion states: "I dunno if there's a heaven for pets, but here's what we should do. We should just be good so that we can go to heaven and then we can find out from God what happened to the animals." Let me make clear that I am not anti christian here. I have a great affinity toward our God, and approve of believing in him and all that, but what BUGS me is how he deceptively lures you in. He preys upon your weakness and takes full advantage of a vulnerable pet owner. The reader, drawn in by the provocative topic becomes more susceptible to the zealotry behind the writing and may be affected by it. Bottom line: I am upset as a reader because of the lame attempt to drill an idea into my head. try harder yo untalented fucknut. And I am outraged as a christian because it's dumbfucks like this that make us all seem like we're out to convert people. Some christians aren't religious fanatics, and may actually accept you for who you are. Deceptive bastard writers like this give writing a bad name. You sir, lie far below the status of a pet.
Narrator: It was getting late, and i was losing it fast. There was an old movie on TV but i was too tired and too nervous to concentrate properly.It had Jimmy Stewart and some blonde woman, Kim Novak maybe or Tippi Hendren, and a plot i just couldn't follow.Someone was dead, or maybe she wasn't, i don't know. I took a sip of coffee and it had gone cold, and i was trying to decide whether to see if there was any left in the pot, or just forget it and go to bed when someone knocked at the door. (the story is told from a first person perspective, and so the narrator is also todd.) Todd: Janet? Janet: Hi Todd, i saw your light was on, so i figured you wouldn't mind if i came by.Y'see i was going over my part in my head, trying to figure out what it must have been like for Mary, out on that island, i sort of thought.. Don't look at me like that Todd, i know you're thinking "Why doesnt she wait for rehearsals tomorrow?" well-- Todd: Janet, you might as well be the first to know, I won't be at the rehearsal tomorrow. I'm pulling out. Janet: You what? But it's your play. You wrote it. Even the dumb songs in the third act. And you're the director. And-- Todd: Uh uh. Look. Bag packed. Todd Faber go-bye-bye-leave-town, not come back. Janet: You're serious aren't you. Why? Todd: "What's Entertainment?" phoned this afternoon. The TV show.They wanted to know all about Todd Faber and Typhoid Mary Blues. And i told them i was out. And i put down the phone and my hands were shaking. And.. I'm leaving because i'm scared okay? Janet: But it's your play. We open next week. I mean, it's off broadway. But it's not as if it's off-off. Or even off-off-off. Todd: Janet, i don't want to talk now. I've written a letter that'll be read at rehearsal tomorrow, telling them what i've done and why. Janet: What is it you're afraid off? Failing? Or succeeding? Todd: Goodnight, Janet. Janet: Goodbye, Todd. Narrator: I gave up on them movie, and went to bed. Eventually i got to sleep. Eventually. Some dreams are different. Most dreams are a tangle of things foreground and background, subject and object. I once had a dream in which i was chasing a mad clown around Saint Patrick's Cathedral which was also my old high school. And after awhile i was the clown they were chasing. This dream was one of the different ones. It was in real time and i was climbing up a rock face. I've never done any climbing in real life. Not even trees when i was a little kid. I live on the first floor which means it costs more and means there's no view to speak off, but i don't care. I don't like heights. But here I am, in my dream climbing climbing like i was born to it. Hunting down handholds and footholds, wedging my hands and feet into rock crevices and slowly inch by inch pushing myself up. And finally I get to the top. And i start to realize how far up I am. And how far down everything else is. And then i realize that I'm not alone. (Todd has ascended a sheer cliff face and is now at the top of the needle like mountain.) Todd: It's a long way down. Morpheus: Yes. (this is morpheus king of dreams with a thousand names, among which are kai'ckul and the sandman, and he is the anthromophic personification of dreams.) Todd: I can't believe i climbed all the way up here. I hate heights. I really do. I've hated them since i was a kid. You see.. Hey I don't want to bore you. Are you interested in dreams? Morpheus: You might say that. Todd: That's good. Most people are bored to death bt other people's dreams. You see for me, it all goes back to this one dream i had when i was five or six. I couldn't have been any older. I remember i was trapped in this house full of witches and i couldn't get out. And finally, i got to the top of the house, and i climbed out onto the roof, and suddenly, slowly, it tilted and threw me off. I couldn't see the ground coming up below me. And i knew that if i hit the ground I'd die. I knew that. It didn't matter if it was a dream or not. I'd still be killed, just as hard, if not worse, maybe. I remember the panic. The sheer gut fear as i tumbled down towards the ground and couldn't do anything to stop it. So i... Todd: I made it stop. I.. I didn't wake myself up. But i pulled out of the dream and was just trapped inside a sleeping body. I didn't dare go back to the dream, i'd die. But i didn't know how to wake myself up. I tried to scream hoping that maybe I could wake someone up, who'd come and wake me up. I tried to thrash about. It was the longest time I've ever spent, trapped in my head, in the dark. And eventually somehow, I did manage to open my eyes. I was soaked in sweat, and I started crying, partly because I hadn't died and partyl because i was alive. Ever since then I've been.. a little scared of high places. Morpheus: I see. Narrator: And then the raven spoke to me. I thought, birds can't talk. And i thought maybe they can in dreams. That was when i knew i was dreaming. Matthew: You're running away aren't you? (Matthew is Morpheus' pet raven. He was once a man who died, and instead of going to heaven or hell, he sought to live in the dreaming.) Todd: I'm not running away. It's just... I don't know. It's all getting to be too much for me. I feel I'm out of my depth. I'm scared, I'm scared to do something stupid. Morpheus: And if you do something stupid, what next? Todd: Aren't you scared of falling? Morpheus: IT is sometimes a mistake to climb; It is always a mistake never even to make the attempt. Todd: What are you saying? That i ought to go back to the show? Not walk out? Is that what you're saying? You're just a dream, listen I've made up my mind. Morpheus: If you do not climb you will not fall. This is true. But is it that bad to fail, that hard to fall? Sometimes you wake, and yes, sometimes you die. But there is a third alternative. (Morpheus disappears, and Todd is left alone on the mountain.) Todd: And that is? ... (Todd looks down in despair.) (A lightning bolt cracks from the sky and strikes the mountain that Todd is standing on. The mountain begins to crumble.) Todd: no. please no. Narrator: When it's really happening it's not like the roadrunner cartoons. There's not going tobe a me-sized hole in the dessert floor. I'm just going to hit the hard rock from a great height, and that will be that. And I'm about to try and wake myself up when.. (Morpheus voice ringing in his head): But there is a third alternative... Narrator: And I stayed with it. And i didn't wake up. And I didn't die. (change of scenery. We're at a small New York playhouse rehearsal.) Janet: Hi everyone, look guys, there's something I have to tell you. It's about Todd... Random person cast in the play: What about Todd, Janet? Todd: Yes, Janet. What about Todd? Janet: Todd i thought... Todd: Okay, now everybody. Can we take this from the scene in the basement? That's Act 2 Scene 4. I need God, Sappho, The hanged man, The slave of the lamp, and Typhoid Mary on stage. Everyone else, go over your lines, or practice pretending not to read your notices. Janet: You seem different today. Todd: I met someone who changed my mind about a lot of things. Janet: I'd like to meet her. Todd: It's a he. And I don't even think he exists. He's just a little voice in the back of my head, saying.. Janet: Yes? Todd: Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall you fly. Okay everybody! Let's take it rom the top! This story is by no means mine. Actually if it seems familiar, it's because i copied it verbatim off of Neil Gaiman's Sandman book 6: Fables and Reflections. It's the first story of the book, and acts as a sort of prologue. But it kicks ass. I won't even attempt to explain thsymbolism, because if you don't get it.. then you shouldn't really be reading it.
The world is really different now. It feels like I woke up one morning and suddenly everyone had become adults. Many of my friends have graduated or are graduating this march, arjo's been working for almost a year, Jorel is interning as a male nurse at Manila Doctors, the list goes on and on. What i'm wondering right now is, when did everybody grow up? and more importantly, when will I? I always forget that i'm 21 already. I always think of myself as a seventeen year old kid, with all the perks of being legal, but i know that i still think of myself as a kid because whenever i hear the word adult, i cringe a little bit. I know it's wrong to compare yourself to others, but who else am I supposed to compare myself to? People always say in one way or another to take your time, life's not a race, just run at your own leisurely pace, but the thing is it might just be a race. We're all competing for the same jobs, and once a job is taken that's one job less for everyone else to vie for. So if life is a race, how many trophies are they handing out? Will there be consolation prizes? Fuck if there are, cause I don't want a consolation prize. I don't wanna hear "thanks for joining, to comemorate your participation here's a job as a desk clerk." I really feel like this is one race that i'm lagging behind in, and there's no way for me to get back in the top three. It really gets to me too. If, for example, I ever wanted to go out with someone from my original batch, i don't think it would work out because it seems to me that i'll be the perpetual student in a world of workers. I talked to Ayo about it. He would be the authority on this after all, being the model ever-student, and he agrees with me. It's tough being in the back of the line, but it leaves us with only one option: catch up in the last leg of the race. Please, detect no hint of optimism in this concluding paragraph, and make no mistake, i am afraid for my future, and my present. It's just good to know that i'm not in this boat alone just yet.
There are some things i'd like to forget about UST and so many things that i never will. I don't understand why i left there actually. I was comfortable there. I had all my friends around me, and a somewhat secure position in the social hierarchy of the college. still.. past is past, so cest' la vie, there are still things i'll never forget like: - Annies place: my #1 'tambay' spot. whether it was lounging on the couch singing with leo and the boys, or upstairs at area77 or amber playing dota with fifi and his boys, i will never forget annies. - The Gazebo's. The burial place of my hopes of becoming an architect. I still blame Manuel Sityars poorly conducted class for fucking me over. Still, we had a lot of good times here. just bumming.. just bumming all the time. - The smoking shed just outside the gate: when i started smoking, this is where i would go in between classes for a quick one. Kasama ko pa si leo mag yosi dito. damn i miss those days more and more now that i write about them. - P. Noval: The best place to eat, period. I'll never forget the hobo with the beard who would scribble on the street. I sort of admired him for being a hobo who would write.. Incidentally, i was also held up near P. Noval. hahahaha.. the place of my lost naivete. - The colayco: the place where i first tasted a street style fishball. I remember my shock when the guy told me that each fishball was fifty centavos! WTF! i went crazy and spent a hundred bucks right there, and even if i didn't finish those 200 fishballs, i felt that my money was sulit! - Kenji: My first seatmate in college. I started talking to him in english, and when he responded uneasily, i started talking tagalog! man i remember when he told me he lived in project 8, i was so naive, i thought to myself: "oh my god. college is so different from high school. i'm breaching social boundaries here! I'm talking to a guy who lives in the projects!" man! i thought project 8 was like, a ghetto or something.. hahaha. what a maroon. - Tong: I remember him as that kid in a lola's turqoise cardigan. the suck-up and the know it all, i felt very apprehensive toward him at first, but as time rolled on, we became really close friends. panalo moment - batangas. man i felt really moved when he shared his inner-most workings with us. - Daryl: I seriously thought daryl was a bully my first few days at UST. I feared him just a little bit, but at the same time, i hoped he would try something. I remember the hairy legs of daryl the monkey-man. Glad we met man. glad we met. - Leo: My number one kasabwat sa kalokohan. My accompaniment and the B.I. in my life at UST. still, he taught me some things that you can't learn in school. assault or abyss my friend? - Anton: Felow intellectual snob. I remember most of all his pretentiousness, and how he finally let go of it when we all got close. I remember... a lot. - McDonalds on Espana: we fucking owned that top floor. i remember this was where i fooled michelle into pretending she understood the penguin joke, which was actually a fake joke that everyone in the class was in on. Oh man. hillarious. "chocolate milk!" - Fifi: my friend looking out for me all the time. I remember one time, a fight was gonna break out over DoTA and fifi just stepped in and told everyone to sit the fuck back down. goddamn that was bad-ass. i also remember the eternal white t-shirt he wore instead of a uniform. tarantado talaga yon. - Rai and Rox: Yung dalawang gago. shit, these guys were a barrel of laughs times twenty! As long as they were together, you could be sure they would make everyone laugh. "Rox naman.." hahahaha.. shit. I also remember when they were better than me at dota. - Iceman: the guy who taught me how to play DoTA. my DoTA mentor and the guy who had been at UST for a little over eight years because he kept switching course.I think his real name was Ernie or something. I'll never forget the first time he acknowledged that my DoTA skill had reached a point where he couldn't teach me anymore. I played an outstanding akasha, skadi, MKB, guinsoo, travel. End of the game he said, "Wala na akong matutuo sa yo yuf." man... i was so fucking proud at that moment. kababawan, pero it feels so good to be acknowledged by someone you hold in high regard. - PTS: leadership training seminar in batangas. i never had so much fun being bitten by mosquitoes and not sleeping. This was my first time to get officially shit-faced drunk in my life. i recall vomiting in the toilet with anton. chuckie and tanduay do not mix well... - That shitty uniform: That was a horrible fucking uniform. The guys had it bad, but Jesus H. Christ, the girls uniform was horrible. so much so, at times i wished the uniform wren't there at all. - Anica something: My UST crush for the entirety of my stay at UST. If there was a light that broke from yonder window, it would be the east and Anica would have been the sun. grabe. Man, memories are just flooding me. There are times when i wish i never left UST, but like i said, Cest' la vie. I think i was happy then. then again, herodotus said "never call a man happy until he is dead" so..
greatness waits for no one, but i look at myself analytically and wonder, am i simply waiting for greatness? I've always dreamed of being a man worth being. Someone with something to say in this life, worth saying. And yes, i know that everyone is special, and yes i acknowledge that everyone in his own right is great, but i'm not talking about supermarket psychology here. I don't want to be special in my own special way, i want to be the veritable 'shit'. I want to be remembered by the world as a giant among men. But looking at all the great men, I see a common factor between them all that i completely and utterly lack. Purpose. Gandhi, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., Jose Rizal, they all had purpose. Something that drove them to surpass their limitations and become the revered figures of modern day legend. So when is my purpose going to come for me? Will it come in the form of adversity? What will it cost me to be great? Malcolm X lost his life, his parents, and his reputation before gaining it all back again. Dr. Rizal lost his freedom, his life, and several of his family members. What will it take to make me great? I dunno, maybe i'm just rambling, but i want that burning purpose. A cause that stirs me so much that i'd be willing to die for it. I want it. I hunger for it. I crave it. I'm so tired of just going to school with the goal of joining the capitalist rat-race and being on top. Fuck that. I want to be the extremist socialist reform guy, or even the communist reform guy, but please i pray that i become more than another suit and tie, endeavoring to make millions. Please tell me that i'm meant for greater things than that. Then again, it was W. Somerset Maugham who said that "He had heard people speak contemptously of money, he wondered if they had ever tried to do without it.", so i dunno. Haay. life is confusing is it not?
The human condition is often depicted as a fight to live. We all want to have houses in prestigoius fucking villages, and have backyards the size of a smal house. I ask you now, why try? The futility of life is really creping un on me, and i don't see much point in joining this human ratrace. Fuck all you sumas and magnas. Matter of fact, fuck all of us college students. Why the fuck should we be forced to learn something, when the notion of learning in itself should be enough to peak the interest of the few academe. Why even bother i ask you? we're all just going to die, and honestly, maybe the nothingness of death will prove a refreshing reprieve from the nothingness that is life.
Ang aking pagpapasimple ng aking pinakapaboritong bahagi ng aklat na 'Noli Me Tangere' ni Jose Rizal ay aking paraan ng pagpapasalamat at pagbibigay ng kahit kakaunti mang parangal sa katauhang si Pilosopo Tasyo. Nais ko sana'y inyong maibasa ito, at maalaala ang dunong ng mga salita ng matanda at itinuring na baliw. Inaasahan ko rin sana na inyong gunitain ang mensahe ni Tasyo, na ang katotohanan at karunungan ay malimit na sinasamahan ng tanyag na kagustuhan ng lahat. Sana rin ay maalala ninyo na ang mahalaga sa buhay ng tao ang kanyang pagpapanatili ng kanyang mga prinsipyo at paniniwala. Ang mga pangyayaring ito ay naganap sa loob looban ng bahay ni pilosopo tasyo, nung araw ng pagkabisita ni Senyor Ibarra. Sa pagkakataong ito, ay hinihingi ni Ibarra ang payo ng tandang si Tasyo ukol sa kanyang pagpapagawa ng eskwelahan. @ Nangiti ng bahagya si Ibarra habang ilang piraso ng papel ang hinugot sa kanyang kalupi. Ibarra: "Hindi ba at malimit sumanggani sa inyo ang yumao kong ama? At naalala kong minsa'y binabati niya ang sarili dahil sa pagsunod sa inyong payo. Isang munting gawain ang hawak ko ngayon at mula sa inyo ay nais kong mabatid ang tagumpay" Sa maikling paraan, ipinaliwanag niya ang proyektong paaralang para sa mga bata na inihandog niya kanina lamang sa kasintahan. Di makapaniwala ang pilosopo habang ipinakikita niya ang planong nagbuhat pa sa Maynila. Ibarra: "Humihingi po ako sa inyo ng payo kung sino rito sa bayan ang dapat kong kausapin upang itong gawain ko'y maging tagumpay. Mas kilala n'yo ang tagarito. Kauuwi ko lamang, at halos banyaga ako sa aking lupang sinilangan." Luhaang sinisiyasat ni tandang Tasyo ang planong nasa kanyang harapan. Pilosopo Tasyo: "Ang isinasakatuparan mo'y aking panaginip, panaginip ng isang baliw!"
bulalas ng madamdaming matanda. Pilosopo Tasyo: "Ngayon, ito ang una kong ipapayo, huwag magtungo rito upang sangguniin ako." * Nagtakang tumingin sa kanya ang binata Pilosopo Tasyo: " Dahil may mga matinong tao, na maaring kayo'y ituring ding baliw. Pinaniniwalaan nila na kapag ang tao ay kakaiba ang iniisip ito'y isang baliw.** At para sa kanila'y baliw nga ako, nagpapasalamat naman ako 'pagkat ay naku! Sa araw na naisin nilang bumalik ang aking bait, yun rin ang araw na ipagkakait nila ang kalayaan ko, kalayaang binili ko kapalit ng aking katinuan.*** Sinong makapagsasabi, baka sakaling tama sila." Pilosopo Tasyo: "Ako'y nabubuhay na di alinsunod sa kanilang mga batas. Kaiba ang aking simulain, at iba higit kaninuman ang aking mithiin. Para sa kanila, matalino ang gobernadorsilyo pagkat walang alam gawin kundi magdulot ng tsokolate at katigan ang mga maling gawa ni Padre Damasao.**** Tignan ninyo, mayaman na siya ngayon, pinakikialaman ang hamak na kapalaran ng kanyang mga kababayan, minsan pa'y naghahayag ng hingil sa katarungan: 'Iyan ang matalinong tao!' nasa isipan ng mga tao.'Tignan mula sa wala, dagliang lumaki!'At ako, minana ko ang kayamanan at pagpipitagan, ako'y nagaral at ngayo'y naghihirap ako, na kailanma'y hindi pagtitiwalaan ng isang katawa-tawang tungkulin, at sabi pa nga ng lahat: 'Iyan ang baliw! Hinde siya nakakaunawa ng buhay!'***** Pilosopo ang bansag sa akin ng mga kura; para sa kanya'y isa akong nagmamarunong, ibig ko lamang daw magpasikat hinggil sa natutunan ko sa paaralan sa unibersidad. Ang totoo nito'y napakaliit ng aking pinakinabangan. Siguro nga'y baliw ako at sila'y matalino." - Noli Me Tangere, Kabanata bilang 26. * The ultimate act of sacrifice is to give a noble cause the best chance, even if it means ones not being part of that cause.
** Here we see the social sickness of the common Filipino in the need for uniformity. Even at this day and age, those who are different are discriminated for simply thinking differently. As early as a hundred years ago, Pilosopo Tasyo identified this slur of discrimination seen even amongst country men.
*** Pilosopo Tasyo's better judgement is seen here. He, once thought of as well educated, rich, and perhaps even influential, trades his formerly glorious reputation for his freedom. What price can be put on that? Proclaimed a madman, he is left to his own devices, and he can think, write, and be left in peace. Pride in exchange for freedom. The question is then presented to us, what choice would we make?
**** The gobernadorsilyo here is used as a literary foil for the character of Tasyo. Where Tasyo is unrelenting and unmoving in his principles and beliefs, the gobernadorsilyo does nothing but give in to every whim of those he perceives to be in authority, thus gaining their favor. Perhaps we can compare the character of Tasyo to that of Rorschach from Allan Moore's watchmen, where he utters the phrase "Never compromise even in the face of Armageddon."
***** What must be noted and asked though is this: Does Pilosopo Tasyo look down upon the gobernadorsilyo because he is uneducated and yet he has succeeded in life? Is the great Tasyo an elitist? I believe that while on the surface, the lines he utters hint at this idea, the reason that it comes off this way is because of the circumstances that Tasyo is in. He wonders not why the people love a commoner, but he is bitter about the fact that the commoner is like todays petty politician, who is in it for the sole purpose of benefit rather than service. Tasyo makes no claim of being able to be a better gobernadorcilyo, but merely grates upon the irony that life has presented him.
bzzzzz-bzz-bzz bzzzz-bzz-bzz.... fuzzy inter-course, the wankers of the north.. (WRONG!) if you've ever wondered what the lyrics to phantom limb, or australia, or sleeping lesons are, then you're in luck! cause i just saved you the trouble of looking for 'em on the internet! :) I finally know what they're saying. Australia: Born to multiply or
Born to gaze into night skies
When all you want’s one more Saturday
Well look here until then
They gonna buy your life's time
So keep your wick in the air
And your feet in the fetters 'till the day...
We come in doing cartwheels
We all crawl out by ourselves
And your shape on the dance floor
Will have me thinking such filth
I'll gouge my eyes
You’ll be damned to be one of us girl
Faced with a dodo’s conundrum
I felt like I could just fly
But nothing happend every time I tried
Oh duotone on the wall
The selfless fool who hoped he’d save us all
He never dreamt of such sterile hands
You keep them folded in your lap
Or raise them up to beg for scraps
You know he's holding you down
With the tips of his fingers just the same
Will you be pulled from the ocean
But just a minute too late
Or changed by a potion
And find a handsome young mate for you to love
You'll be damned to pining through the windowpanes
You know you'd trade your life for any ordinary Joe's
Well do it now or grow old
'Cause your nightmares only need a year or two to unfold
Been alone since you were 21
You haven't laughed since January
You try and make like this is so much fun
But we know it to be quite contrary
La la la la la la la
Dare to be one of us girl
Facing the android's conundrum
You see I felt like I should just cry
But nothing happens every time I take one on the chin
Yeah Himmler in your coat
You don't know how long I have been watching
The lantern dim starved of oxygen
So give me your hand and let's jump out the window
la la la la la Phantom Limb: Foals in winter coats
White girls of the north
File past one five and one
They are the fabled lambs of Sunday ham
The EHS norm
And they could float above the grass
In circles if they tried
A latent power I know they hide
To keep some hope alive
That a girl like I could ever try
Could ever try
So we just skirt the hallway sides
A phantom and a fly
Follow the lines and wonder why
There's no connection
A week of rolling eyes
And cheap shots from the trite
And we're off to Nemarca's porch again
Another afternoon of the goat-head tunes
And pilfered booze
We wander through her mama's house
The milk from a window lights
Family portrait circa '95
This is that foreign land with the sprayed-on tans
And it all feels fine
Be it silk or slime
So when they tap our Monday heads
To zombie-walk in our stead
This town seems hardly worth the time
And we'll no longer memorize or rhyme
Too far along in our climb
Stepping over what now towers to the sky
With no connection
So when they tap our Sunday heads
To zombie-walk in our stead
This town seems hardly worth our time
And we'll no longer memorize or rhyme
Too far along in our crime
Stepping over what now towers to the sky
With no connection
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